Starting preschool is a big step, for your child and for you. A few tears in the first days are completely normal. Here’s what helps most children settle quickly and happily.
In the weeks before
- Talk about school in a happy, simple way. “You’ll play with blocks, sing songs and make friends. I’ll come back after.” Avoid “Be brave” or “Don’t cry”: it tells them there’s something to fear.
- Visit together. Seeing the classroom and meeting the teacher once makes the first day feel familiar.
- Practise short goodbyes. Leave your child with a grandparent or neighbour for half an hour and come back when you said you would. They learn that you always return.
- Shift the routine slowly. Wake up and have breakfast at school-time for a week before, so mornings aren’t a rush.
- Practise little things: opening their tiffin, drinking from their bottle, saying “toilet”, washing hands.
On the first day
- Keep the goodbye short and warm. A hug, “I’ll see you after story time”, and go. Long goodbyes, or slipping away without saying bye, both make it harder.
- Stay calm, even if they cry. Children read our faces. Most stop within a few minutes of the parent leaving, once a teacher distracts them with something fun.
- Pack something familiar: a small hanky that smells of home, or a photo of the family in the bag.
- Be on time at pick-up. Being the last child waiting feels big when you’re three.
The first two weeks
- Expect ups and downs. Some children are happy for three days and then cry on day four, when they realise school is every day. It passes.
- Ask specific questions. “What did you sing today?” works better than “How was school?”
- Talk to the teacher. Tell them what calms your child at home: a song, a favourite toy, a word they use.
- Keep weekends restful. New routines are tiring. An early night helps more than a busy outing.
When to worry
If your child is still very upset after three or four weeks, stops eating, or seems scared rather than sad, speak to the class teacher. Together you can make a plan, such as a shorter day for a while, or a special job for your child in class.
Most children who cry on the first day are running in happily by the end of the month. You’re doing great.